Drunk Barbie at Luton!

Today I want to share what in Italian I would call a “chicca”. A chicca is, in its figurative sense, something curious,  in English we could call it an anecdote, even though we have this same word in Italian. If you check the dictionary, the translation of chicca is gem, rarity, but in this case anecdote would be more appropriate… even though what I saw today is definitely – I hope so – a rarity..

Imagine yourself at the airport, it could be any airport.. in my case it was Luton. Then imagine that you’re waiting for boarding, you’re bored standing in the queue and looking around.. You have all gone through this, so it’s easy to imagine.

There is a woman in the queue close to yours who apparently has to cross your queue to go from one side to the other, and to do that she decides to pass between you and the person in front of you. Until here nothing wrong right? The same woman has to cross the same point two, three, four times. So it starts to get annoying a bit, because every time you have to step backward making sure not to hit the person behind you. After the fourth time that this “lovely” woman has to go through the same passage I guess you would start to look at her a bit more closely… What you see is a woman in her 50/60s dressed like a Barbie, pink top, tight jeans, high heels, sparkling I-phone emerging from her pocket in total Paris Hilton style, blond hair, heavy make-up. After noticing all that, you notice something very unusual, she is holding in her right hand a glass of wine, but not a plastic glass, a real glass, the typical glass you use for wine only and despite the people talking around you and the noisy announcements about the flights, you can hear a subtle tinkle coming from her baggage. Ah by the way, the baggage was decorated with pink flowers, lol. You also notice a bag, hanging behind the baggage itself and you don’t realize immediately what she has inside her bag.. Anyway, the woman is restless, she keeps walking and tinkling around with all her charm and enjoying her glass of wine… You keep looking around because when you’re waiting for a plane you’re the most bored person on the planet and she’s not on your side anymore. After a couple of minutes she reappears from behind the queue and together with the tinkle coming from this mysterious bag, eventually you notice something else… She is leaving behind her a reddish-pink wake who looked like wine… Discretely you sniff around for a couple of seconds and it is wine!! The woman was actually carrying around, hitting the floor every two seconds, a bottle of wine, the one she probably had in her glass as well. A guy makes her notice that she is losing something and she, with all the possible nonchalance, looks around, leans her purse and the glass on a table close-by and very slowly takes out a jacket, unbelievably clean, and then the bottle without the bottom. So that the wine can come out even more easily…

She looks for an attendant, who sends her to another gate to call for help, and at first, she leaves her baggage unattended near the desk where before she left the glass, but she finishes the wine in the glass, and then she walks again between you and the person in front of you to go and look for help. After let’s say five minutes, she comes back, she notices that her queue has gone further because they started the boarding process, but she hasn’t found someone to clean the floor yet, so she grabs her baggage, she passes through the wine, spreading it around, and goes away… She comes back with the person in charge of the cleaning, who then goes away to take the wet floor signs..

But the story hasn’t ended yet… When the guy comes back, she asks him what queue was that and where she has to take the flight to – guess what – another destination! Everyone was looking at her.. and still not happy with all the mess she has caused, she still passes with heels and hand luggage on the wine again, just to spread it around a bit more, causing a snappy reaction of the attendant and even more people staring at her…

I don’t know if she made it on time on her plane, but the whole scene was hilarious, believe me!  Anyway, the rest of the flight was quite boring, nothing could attract my attention after that, lol 🙂


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